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Josh Woodward: Creative Commons Music

The Handyman's Lament

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When I drop a plate, I sweep the shards of glass into the trash 
When I pop an E string, I can change a new one in a flash 
But when you break, I'm stuck without a clue 
I never learned to fix a thing like you 
When the server's down, you sudo /sbin/reboot in a shell 
When the market tanks, you call a broker, tell him "sell sell sell"
But when you're down, I don't know what to do 
I never learned to fix a thing like you 

    I'll lend an ear 
    To find out what I need to repair 
    But I will try and dry your eyes and fix the scattered parts 
    Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart 

When I cut my hand, I grab the Neosporin from the shelf 
When I stub my toe, I curse in flowing verses to myself 
But when you hurt, I'm stuck without a clue 
I never learned to fix a thing like you 

When a faucet leaks, I tighten up the gasket with a wrench 
When a toilet's stuck, I plunge it down before the floor is drenched 
But when you cry, I don't know what to do 
I never learned to fix a thing like you 


I know, I'm slow 
I've got so much to learn 
But you'll see, I'll be 
The place that you can turn 

    [Chorus x 2]


Tuning: standard, down a whole step


x02220 3x223x 2x023x 1x021x
x02220 3x222x 2x022x 2x023x 2x020x 2x02xx 1x021x
x24432 022100 x02220

x02220 3x223x 2x023x 1x021x
x02220 3x222x 2x022x 2x023x 2x020x 2x02xx 1x021x
x24432 x32010 x02220

xx0232 xx0234 xx0235
xx0232 xx0234 xx0235
xx0232 x02220 4x222x 244222
x24432 x32010 x02220

244222 x46654 xx0235 x02220
244222 x46654 xx0235 020100


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  Discussion: The Handyman\'s Lament

Michael Waddell (anon) · 4 years, 10 months ago
Wow. I'm just going to hope that this is a biting satire of a sick relationship. If not, I think I'll just pretend it is. Makes me shudder. "It's so sweet! I'm objectifying you as a broken thing!" I've been there... It's either intentionally effective, or accidentally brilliant, like those that live their lives as warnings. Either way, thanks!
Josh Woodward Back · 4 years, 10 months ago

Whatever you hear in a song is what it's about, as far as I'm concerned! I wrote it thinking of a healthy relationship, just one where the guy is the typical need-to-fix-everything type, even the ones where his significant other just wants him to listen and be sympathetic rather than solving anything. All the while being clueless about how to express his emotions well (as in the verse comparing a leaky toilet to a leaky crying eye). Well-meaning, but probably still deserving of a slap or at least a stern glare. :)

Harley Laue (anon) · 4 years, 8 months ago

I love the sudo /sbin/reboot reference in this song :)

Pieter Back · 4 years, 8 months ago

I just had to reboot Linux from the command line and I blanked on the command, but then I remembered this song. Thanks Josh! :D

tyess (anon) Back · 2 years, 10 months ago
Me too!!!!
Douglas On A Box (anon) · 3 years, 6 months ago
I love this song but could you give me a simplified version of the chords relative to the capo? Like Am ,C, Asus4 type chords? I don't mean to be a nuisance but I'm kinda new to guitar and really want to play this song but can't because I don't understand TABS!
Josh Woodward Back · 3 years, 6 months ago

Sorry, this one doesn't really fit into simple chords (and I'm bad at trying to "name" a chord, anyway). But fear not, the chords below the tab are really easy to parse. There are six letters/numbers, one for each string, starting with your low E string. "0" means an open string (no fretting), "2" means second fret, etc. "x" means you don't play that string at all.

Douglas On A Box (anon) Back · 3 years, 6 months ago

Cheers, tah much and thanks.

minnjohn (anon) · 3 years, 4 months ago
Great song, terrific album. Just discovered your music. How is it I just came across it? Perhaps I'm so long off in the linux open-verse that I've stopped looking for music. I'll gladly purchase your album. Cheers from Minnesota, with my "head in the cool blue north." (Familiar with Jesse Winchester?)
Flemming Richter (anon) · 2 years, 6 months ago
I just discovered you one month ago (thanks to Ubuntu one's demo mode) and has been listening to your albums since then. But your songs are only available there in the demo mode (via jamendo I guess). I will definitely buy some of your albums! I can identify with all your songs. All very well written! I am also a huge fan of the ways you publish your music!

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